10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...and welcome home Daddy!

I did it...10 days of Working/Single Mom is over, and I did it!  I struggled whether to write about this or not because it sheds a somewhat embarrassing light on me.  But if you love me, you love; and that's that.  As I said, Scott was gone for 10 days between DC and Richmond.  This is a long time for our family.  And it kind of snuck up on us; as we didn't know he was going to be gone until a week or so before it happened.

Our plan was to go to Gastonia last weekend because my best friend and her boyfriend were in town from NYC.  Scott ended up having to go to DC so Dylan and I headed to Gastonia by ourselves.  At this point, Scott had been gone for 4 days and Dylan has had 2 ear infections for about a week.  Things did not go very well in Gastonia.  Dylan was just off, and I knew something was wrong.  I figured we were going to need to make another trip to the doctor.  And with his history of ear infections, I knew we needed to see our doctor.  So under the very wise advice of my mother, I cut my trip short and drove back Saturday night to Raleigh so I could take him to the doctor first thing Sunday morning.

Here is the embarrassing part...As soon as mom mentioned this idea of driving back, I broke down.  I literally started bawling and I don't think I stopped until Sunday after Dylan's doctor appointment.  I am not really sure what happened to me.  I was exhausted.  When Scott is gone, and I am working, my day starts at 4:30am and ends about 8pm.  I had been doing this for about a week by myself.  And add in sick/fussy baby and it doesn't get easier.  I was sick.  Stomach virus...enough said.  I was sad.  I had seen Erin and Brian for all of two seconds and I was missing time with them; the whole point to my trip home.  I was worried.  Dylan had an ear infection for a week and I was scared the medicine wasn't working.  He just wasn't acting himself.  I was overwhelmed.  I had help in Gastonia.  I was coming home to an empty house for another whole week.  I just didn't want to leave.

But I think what really set me over the edge was the absolute concern in mom and dad's face for me.  It was the ultimate parental concern.  I could see it in their faces, "my child is upset, and I would do anything to make it better for her."  My sweet, sweet dad offered to drive me and Dylan back to Raleigh.     I can only hope that I am always as good a parent as they are.  No matter what, I always feel that love, concern, and support from them; even now it brings tears to my eyes.

So I took Dylan to the doctor first thing the next morning and he was fine.  So I cried some more at the doctor's office.  He assured me lots of moms hit a wall and cry, and it didn't make me a bad mom.  I believe he is about to get some more teeth.  And he is also starting to test me.  I take something away that he shouldn't be playing with, and he pitches a fit.  I have learned that if you don't respond to the tantrum; pretend like it isn't happening, it passes pretty quickly.

We had a pretty good week.  We definitely have a routine when Scott is not here and it works beautifully for us.  So we played a lot before bed and I think we only had one tantrum all week.

Everything is back to normal now.  Scott came home on Thursday and I have been trying to forget about my 24 hour meltdown.  That probably won't be the last one I have, to be honest, but hopefully it doesn't happen again for awhile.  I know I am a good mom, or at least I try to be; but I was pretty ashamed of myself over this.  I have a very good child, and I am so lucky to have him.  He makes me laugh constantly.  I know things can't always be hearts and flowers and basically perfection.  But I really dislike the fact that I behaved this way.  And as it was hard on me, I know it wasn't easy on Scott to be away from Dylan for that long.

And I will just say...my hat is off to all of you single moms.  Seriously, I have nothing but respect for you.  I can't imagine doing it by myself all the time and being the sole supporter.  Y'all are my heros!  :-)

Despite all the drama from last weekend, Dylan wasn't fussy the entire time and he did get some quality time with Nana and Pops.  He got ahold of cell phone and before I could stop him, had it up to his ear and was "talking".  This is new!  The things they learn!

Addie and Dylan

Hello?  May I spek to mommy?

Cutie Pie!