I had a conversation with a very good friend tonight who was at the end of her rope. She needed what all of us need every once in awhile; a girlfriend to listen to and reassure her. She's stressed out, and honestly, I would worry about her if she wasn't. She has three children, ages 5, 2, and 6 months; just thinking about that stresses me out. So she says to me, "I feel like I need to be Super Mom. I fix the same five dinners over and over again, I have mounds of laundry, my house needs to be cleaned, I have bottles to wash." I told her she can't be Super Mom. There are only 24 hours in a day; you can only do so much.
But this conversation got me thinking about a book that I am right in the middle of right now, TORN: True Stories of Kids, Career, & the Conflict of Modern Motherhood, by Samantha Parent Walravens. My friend Meg strongly recommended this book, and it has been eye opening, to say the least. The book is compiled of essays by the working mother, balancing career and family. It's by turns hysterically funny and incredibly sad. It grabbed me from the very beginning because I recognized myself in some small way in every essay. From the mom who cried sitting in the daycare parking lot after leaving her screaming child behind, to the mom covered in food that her child threw at her.
You see, I told my friend tonight that she can't be Super Mom, but that's easier said than done. We set high expectations for ourselves as mothers, and then feel guilty when those expectations are not met. So my take on this situation is that you can be Super Mom. But you have to define what Super Mom means to you. For me, working full time and being a part time single mom (when Scott travels), means Super Mom is making sure that I get to spend at least 30 minutes a day playing with Dylan, getting full meals (including veggies) into is belly, scrubbing the grime of the day off him in the bath tub while he soaks me, reading his bed time story, and tucking him into bed. I get to the housework and laundry when I get a chance, but it can always wait. In my little world, Super Mom means doing the best for Dylan that I can. If that means I have a messy house and dirty laundry, I am okay with that.
R, I think you are an awesome mother. Your kids are never lacking in affection or attention from you; and that is the most important thing. Everything else pales in the grand scheme of things. I admire you and I think you are doing a wonderful job!
Here is a quote from the introduction of TORN. It sounds vaguely familiar from when I had a breakdown a couple months ago. HA! Maybe that's why this book grabbed my attention from the very beginning:
"After a horrific two-hour commute home along a backed up freeway, I found myself screaming at my husband to make his own dinner while throwing a box of cereal on the table in front of our two-year-old-son. They looked at me, bewildered. My inner good girl, who thought she could do it all, had snapped."
As for this book; I would recommend this to every mother, young or old. You will see yourself in it.
Moms, do the best you can and be proud of that effort. We can't do it all; that's just plain fact, but we are still ROCK STARS! Just look at the kiddies for proof!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Oh the Changes!
This afternoon as I was driving home from work, a sweet little voice rang out from the back seat. Like music to my ears, he called, "mama". My heart just simply melted, and then I looked in the mirror and started laughing. Dylan had his hands in the air and was bouncing (as much as he can) and dancing to the music on the radio. I was not expecting this...the kid normally just sits back there and looks out the window while sucking his thumb and hanging on to his blankie. So he entertained me the rest of the way home.
I find myself more and more entertained these days by Dylan. He is talking all the time. His favorite words are: all done (a-ga), mine, good, bye bye, hey, mama, and da-da. He has been saying mama for awhile. But he calls for me now; when he sees me at daycare, when he is upset, and sometimes when he wants my attention.
He mimics everything...he puts his hands up in the air when you yell touchdown and he doesn't necessarily need music to truly break it down and shake his bum. All he needs to be entertained is a ball. He walks very well holding onto the furniture or my hand, and has walked a few steps independently; but much to Scott's disappointment, we haven't been able to capture this on video. He loves to skype with Grandma and Paw Paw, Nana and Pops, and Daddy, when he is out of town.
And my personal favorite...he thinks everything is a phone. He holds up the TV remote, the monitor, his toys, to his ear and has a conversation (since it is babble, the subject matter is a mystery to everyone but him). Then, he hands the "phone" to me for me to talk.
He has begun to assert his independence. He doesn't like to be held all the time anymore. He likes to be free to check out his surroundings. He is drawn to all things that don't belong to him, most especially, the TV remote. When something is taken away from him or he doesn't get what he wants, he pitches a temper tantrum. Sooooooooo, hello, time-out. When he misbehaves, he spends 1 minute facing a specific corner. Considering he faces the corner and doesn't crawl away tells me he understands this a punishment. This may be very un-mommy like behavior, but I can't help but giggle a little at time-out. He looks and sounds so pitiful, that it is almost comical.
The changes just keep on coming! The first year of his life, I was both excited and anxious to see him changing so much. I find that so far, in his second year of life, it is nothing but excitement for me. One little voice this afternoon got me thinking about all of his newness. I wanted to share the perfect sweetness, that is my son, with y'all!
I find myself more and more entertained these days by Dylan. He is talking all the time. His favorite words are: all done (a-ga), mine, good, bye bye, hey, mama, and da-da. He has been saying mama for awhile. But he calls for me now; when he sees me at daycare, when he is upset, and sometimes when he wants my attention.
He mimics everything...he puts his hands up in the air when you yell touchdown and he doesn't necessarily need music to truly break it down and shake his bum. All he needs to be entertained is a ball. He walks very well holding onto the furniture or my hand, and has walked a few steps independently; but much to Scott's disappointment, we haven't been able to capture this on video. He loves to skype with Grandma and Paw Paw, Nana and Pops, and Daddy, when he is out of town.
And my personal favorite...he thinks everything is a phone. He holds up the TV remote, the monitor, his toys, to his ear and has a conversation (since it is babble, the subject matter is a mystery to everyone but him). Then, he hands the "phone" to me for me to talk.
He has begun to assert his independence. He doesn't like to be held all the time anymore. He likes to be free to check out his surroundings. He is drawn to all things that don't belong to him, most especially, the TV remote. When something is taken away from him or he doesn't get what he wants, he pitches a temper tantrum. Sooooooooo, hello, time-out. When he misbehaves, he spends 1 minute facing a specific corner. Considering he faces the corner and doesn't crawl away tells me he understands this a punishment. This may be very un-mommy like behavior, but I can't help but giggle a little at time-out. He looks and sounds so pitiful, that it is almost comical.
The changes just keep on coming! The first year of his life, I was both excited and anxious to see him changing so much. I find that so far, in his second year of life, it is nothing but excitement for me. One little voice this afternoon got me thinking about all of his newness. I wanted to share the perfect sweetness, that is my son, with y'all!
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Family Reunion in VA Beach!
One, two, three...listen to me. Recently we travelled to Virginia Beach for the Mandronico Family Reunion on Scott's mother's side of the family. There were about 25 of us and we came from all over the place....Raleigh, Atlanta, Chicago, Seattle, and upstate NY. We used to see everyone at weddings, but then we ran out of weddings. So Marie and her sisters planned this family reunion and we all converged on Virginia Beach.
It has been a couple years since we have all been together and since then quite a few of us have had children. Including Dylan, there were 5 kids at the reunion; all boys. They booked us all together on the same floor of the hotel...which was fortunate; for those of you who remember Jon and Tara's wedding know that we almost got kicked out of that hotel for offending soccer moms who didn't appreciate our noise levels. Aside from almost getting booted from an Irish Pub, we were are all very well behaved on this trip. Oh we definitely had a few crazy moments...naked sleepwalking, strollers/kids galore, group family picture...to name a few. But those were just entertaining stories. The weekend really went off without a hitch. Here are a few quotes that Scott's aunt and uncle put together of the weekend:
Steve: “Her jaw is permanently lubricated at the factory and she can go 5 minutes on any subject - give her a topic...”
It has been a couple years since we have all been together and since then quite a few of us have had children. Including Dylan, there were 5 kids at the reunion; all boys. They booked us all together on the same floor of the hotel...which was fortunate; for those of you who remember Jon and Tara's wedding know that we almost got kicked out of that hotel for offending soccer moms who didn't appreciate our noise levels. Aside from almost getting booted from an Irish Pub, we were are all very well behaved on this trip. Oh we definitely had a few crazy moments...naked sleepwalking, strollers/kids galore, group family picture...to name a few. But those were just entertaining stories. The weekend really went off without a hitch. Here are a few quotes that Scott's aunt and uncle put together of the weekend:
Steve: “Her jaw is permanently lubricated at the factory and she can go 5 minutes on any subject - give her a topic...”
Tara: “ Jon, what are you doing?”
Jon: “ I’m going to the bathroom.”
Tara: “I don’t think you’ll find it in the hallway!”
Erin: “You want to take one of these kids home? No problem - help yourself!”
Marie: “I love that Bryan, he dances to a different drummer!”
Bev: “He’s a drummer? I thought he played the guitar!”
Bill: “Come on Bev - give me your hand, we have to go back to our room now!”
Marie: “Ron, take your shoes and socks off - how do you expect to get an even tan?”
Ron: “Are you crazy, I don’t have anything on underneath.”
Bev: "Are you sure I can go to the bar dressed like this?"
Jon: "Well nothing says Italian like a track suit, Aunt Bev!"
Jayden, Dylan, Ashten, Caleb and Riley: “Wow! And they put these people in charge; yeah, and this is only the beginning!”
It was such a good time that we didn't want to come home. Here are some pictures from our fabulous weekend!
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